Rebuilding

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Sometimes you need to start from scratch.  Sometimes you need a re-do.  Sometimes you need to start over.  Sometimes you need to tear apart the foundation; rip out all of the floors and the walls; just rebuild.

Sometimes you don’t think that you can start from scratch.  Sometimes you think that you can’t re-do.  Sometimes you think that there is no way in hell that you can start over.  Sometimes you think that you are not going to tear apart the foundation; rip out all of floors and the walls; rebuild…because you just don’t fucking need to.

Sometimes you don’t know what you need.  Sometimes you don’t know who you are anymore.  Sometimes you can be standing in your own way.  Sometimes you think that your identity will always be this way.  Sometimes you are too lazy to rebuild.  Sometimes you just don’t give a shit.  Sometimes you think that you can’t afford to start over.  Sometimes you are afraid to face how ugly it might be if you tear apart your foundation and have to look at that mess day in and day out, for however long the process lasts.  Sometimes you think that you are too good to get your hands dirty.  Sometimes you are worried how others might view your starting from scratch; if they will still want to come over…?

But, sometimes…yes sometimes…what you uncover in that time of unyielding vulnerability and willingness to transform can become the greatest treasure of your lifetime.  The willingness to be healed by relinquishing the need to completely control the outcome is the key to rebuilding.  Now you might think that because you are rebuilding that of course you are in control, but that is not necessarily the case.  The courage to start from scratch, the courage to re-do, the courage to start over, the courage to tear apart the foundation and rebuild no matter what the perceived cost is the way that you say to God, the universe, or whatever you believe in that you are willing to give up whatever you identified with before and start anew; you are willing to rebuild and you are willing to be healed.

And so it is…

 

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